by Lisa Schauer
“Anger doesn’t cause domestic violence,” said Jo Elliot, executive director of Community Alternatives to Violence, a batterer intervention and prevention program that serves residents in the Eastern Panhandle.
The program serves anywhere between 400 and 500 people a year in Morgan, Berkeley and Jefferson counties. 
“Domestic violence is a choice. Too often, batterers blame others instead of taking responsibility. They use anger as a threat to control,” said Elliot on why the agency’s courses and programs are not an anger management program.
Domestic violence is about power and control, said Elliot. She calls it a pro-abuse belief system that says, “I have the right to control you.”
Operating under this belief system, batterers believe others exist to make them happy and should let them have their way regardless.
So, while anger and vengeance are often related to domestic violence, they are not the cause. Nor are substance abuse, or other mood disorders which may also be present.
Oftentimes, batterers claim they were raised to never hit a woman, says Elliot. They attempt to blame their partner for their harmful behavior.
Others admit to “correcting” vulnerable family members, including children and seniors, with cruel consequences for failing to bend to their will.
The cause of domestic violence is having this pro-abuse belief system, Elliot explained.
If someone is ready and willing to change, Community Alternatives to Violence can help dismantle this belief system based on terror and abuse.
Participants are encouraged to be honest with themselves and take intentional steps toward being respectful in how they treat others.
Specific steps include using de-escalation techniques, such as deep breathing, listening, taking a walk, or otherwise respectfully removing yourself from the situation.
A team of 10 facilitators works to address the root causes of domestic violence through a series of 90-minute classes, during which participants develop an individual plan for non-violence.
Most participants are mandated by the court to attend the program sessions. A few were referred to the program by their partner, in an effort to save a relationship.
Some who have successfully completed the 32-week program report a feeling of freedom and empowerment that came from letting go of the need to control, Elliot said. 
Classes meet weekly in Berkeley Springs, in separate groups for men and women. The women’s group just started recently. There is a sliding fee scale, based on income.
Community Alternatives to Violence will be at the Paw Paw block party on Saturday, August 9 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. with information and children’s activities.
An 80’s themed fundraiser gala will be held for the nonprofit organization on Saturday, October 25 in Charles Town.
Anyone interested in more information about Community Alternatives to Violence can go to www.commav.org or call 304-262-4424 during normal business hours.
Call 911 if you or someone you know is in immediate danger of a domestic assault.
